Kevin would have turned 45 today. Whenever I asked him what he wanted for his birthday (or Christmas for that matter) he'd always say the same thing: "what do I want? Peace and quiet." I told him I'd buy him a lily and earplugs. Never did.

For the 18 years we were together, he never wanted a fuss made about his birthday. Which I could accept. Even though in my family it's considered a "birthweek," not a birthday. So we only ran into problems when he didn't make a big fuss about my birthday. Which wasn't often. The hardest thing about today? The reminder that someday I will be older than he was. Have decided to file this under: Not Supposed to Happen This Way.